Its amazing how much can change and still stay the same at the same time.

One of my room mates got terminated yesterday for calling in sick. He works selling diamonds and he was really sick. So he called in, then got a call about mid day asking if he had anything important at his desk. Because he could either show up before everyone else today, with an MD note, or clean out his desk. Harsh.

My work woes just have to deal with a supervisor who I believe may be sexist and looking to get me fired, but thankfully my job has this whole long and involved procedure for firing people.

Granted, I am kind of on the edge, having had such a shitty review, but I had a preliminary review yesterday, just over a month from the bad one, that has already greatly improved.

On other news, I’ve accepted another webmaster position. Again, a volunteer thing, not a real paying job, but I figure I can start getting experience that perhaps I can transfer into real life experience.

It’s still not what I want to do with my life. I KNOW what I want to do with my life, I just need to figure out how to get the training, materials, and make what I want to do pay.

It’s not the Horologist thing still, but it is based off of that. I’ve been thinking about it and I realized that working on watches and clocks is all well and good, but art pays better. Then I stumbled onto the fictional website that talks about the fictional character who crated the puzzle boxes in the Hellraiser movies. I was hooked.

No, I don’t want to make dimension bending cerobyte pain boxes. I want to build mechanical puzzles. I’ll bet a few of you would be going “WTF?!” how do I expect that to make money? Well... not easily, obviously. But there is a market, and I’m in love with some of the current puzzles on the market. Here... www.isisadventure.com/

Also, I recently acquired an Archos 5. Pretty :) I have 120 gigs that need videos and music, but I still has non-working internets! =( Hopefully soon I’ll be able to fix that.

Heh. It seems I only come back to LJ when I have problems, right? I used to try and journal every day. I used to take my lunch break and try and put something up for everyone to read. Like I thought people wanted a direct phone tap into my life.

I dunno why I fell away from it so much. I guess I figured that writing on my journal for everyone else to read was a little shallow and self centered. “Lookit me! I have PROBLEMS! And ISSUES! OMG!”

I want to say I’m so much more mature, so much more in control than I was, better collected, etc.

To some extent I am. I feel more in control of things these days. I’m reacting in more mature ways to more of the same kinds of stimuli that used to send me into fits of less productive emotion. I also feel more.

Am I putting this up specifically FOR people to read? No. I’m putting this up for me. Something in me wants to write again, even if I’m stuck on the story I’ve been writing for the last five years (blah) and all I want to write is some glib thing on my own journal about wanting to write on my journal. Yes, that sentence makes sense.

In my personal life, things are ... better. My wages are not being garnished anymore, I’m living with people who have more of my own same interests, even if they fight amongst themselves like cats :p, and I currently have plans to move my current girlfriend in with me in July.

Her name is Joan, and if you have Facebook you can find me. My userpic is her and I. I think we make a cute couple, but you’ll probably never hear me admit that, cute is not a manly word.

Everything is starting to come together. If my job would get better I’d run out of things to seriously complain about. It makes me want to start drawing again, start writing again. I’ve already started painting again and that felt ... great.

I played a pickup game of 40k at Hobby Town USA (on the other side of 75) last Saturday. God, I spanked that kid so hard. I had destroyed his entire 1600 point Smurf Army with 1500 points of bugs by turn 4. Not a pitched battle, I mean I lost seven total figures (five genestealers, one licthor, my broodlord) and had killed all but a unit of guardsmen he had added to go from 1500 to 1600 points. He conceded the battle.

I wish I had internet at home, that’s thanks in part to my room mate and a large part our landlord wanting to take her sweet sweet time getting us a damn lease. Ah well. We’ll only be here until July.

Hey, if anyone is going to be in Atlanta, GA in March, between the 13th-15th I’m going to be up there too, for a LARP convention. :)

Please excuse me if this post has an absurd number of typos for me. I am typing this while on hold with the eye care clinic here at shands because I am going blind.

Suddenly, rapidly, blind. I may not finish this, though I believe that I can at least get what I want to say down.

A number of weeks ago, in the early part of October, I had a serious scare. I was at work, and I felt a mind blowing headache start. Migrane quality. And about the point I noticed that the vision in my right eye started going. At first, I had no clue what was happening, all I could tell is that I could not watch the cursor as I typed, I had to look at the cursor and read three words behind what I had typed. My peripheral vision got grainy, like old film grain where you can see white specks and trails. The area of my eye I could actually see from narrowed to little more than the left most edge of my eye.

I went down to the Oc-Health dept, to see if they could help me out, and they walked me over to the ER. In the ER the MD thought I was having a stroke. So they sent me for a CT, which was showing “artifacts”. They told me the artifacts could be problems with the CT, lesions, or blood vessels doing funny angulations. They needed to do an MRI.

Let me tell you a closed MRI of the head is my idea of hell. Tiny enclosed space (I don’t mind enclosed spaces, but this was silly. I’m a big guy. My shoulders almost didn’t fit down the tube!) with a loud tak-HAMMER-HAMMER noise going on, for which they at least give you ear plugs, flat on your back (which hurts my lower back), you have to remain perfectly still (which is hard for anyone), I can’t sleep because I have sleep apnea and I would probably wake up going psycho, all for *gasp* 45 minutes! And I “wiggled” too much during one image so they stuck me back in the oven for another 10 minutes.

... All to find out I was fine.

They prescribed me Oxycodone for the migrane, sent me home, and my vision slowly returned to normal.

Life wasn’t too bad for me over the last few weeks. Right up until the middle of last week when our house got broken into and we got robbed.

The thieves took my digital camera, 100$ in cash from my room, and a butload of stuff from Mike. From Mike they got: his laptop, two digital cameras, his PSP, his wedding ring, his iPod Nano, and a few other odds and ends.

Oh, and almost a full carton of Newports. Apparently Casey left a carton in the living room, right next to an almost full carton of Camels. The cop who took the call said that means they are probably black.

Well, I’ve tried and tried to go out with friends and have a good time, to live things up more, but goddamn if every time I make plans I get fucked over. I made plans with a friend to go see a movie, then she had to work crazy mad hours all that week. And so I told her to call me when she got her new schedule so we could go out for a movie when she wasn’t working. She never called me. She did come over early in the week after she was supposed to have called me, and she told me all about the new boy she met up with and is spending ass loads of time with.

... Nice to know where I fit in with that one. Ah well.

So then, another friend was throwing a Halloween party and I wanted to go and get drunk and have a good time. I told her I would be there and made plans. My ride changed her mind about going, which left me scrambling for a ride. Then none could be found, and I wound up so sick, I didn’t make fight practice (for TG) the next day and missed work yesterday. Today...

Well. Today, my left eye is pulling a BS repeat performance of my right eye. I’ve left a message for the eye doc on call, but they had to take a message and will call me back. Which leads me to suspect they won’t call me until I have headed home, and this will take even longer to sort out.

This is getting scary. My eyes are going out in a relatively short time back to back, same symptoms but this time no headache.

I’m very scared that this could be a portent of permanent vision loss. I hope the fuck not, because I know I already have some problems hearing. I don’t look forward to a long life of being blind and deaf.

Of course, this all comes on top of me feeling really shitty about being almost thirty and not having had a Real serious relationship. Heather, while serious, wasn’t really real because there was 3000 miles between us. Hell, she proved how little it was real to her by breaking it off with me.

... Sorry. I get angry and snippy and bitter when I’m scared about my health.

I hope this gets better and turns out to be something stupid. Stupid I can deal with. Permanent I can not.

moar funny pictures


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What a cunt-tastrophy of a year this has been. But, it is getting better!

( Read more... )
Today, I turn 27. I was born 11:42 AM 8/19/1981. I was conceived out of wedlock, and born to more or less newly weds. I was a condom kid. (Which my mother relished telling me at the time)

My day hasn’t been too bad. One of my co-workers brought a cake, another snuck me in to an MD Schmooze session and I got free lunch, the day has been pretty quiet and a wonderful WONDERFUL storm is on the way. (I did mention that I love storms and the rain, right?) I got a box of certified organic black chai, and everything is looking good right now. Oh! I also got a 10$ target gift card.

My plans for the future involve rebuilding and re-painting my Tyranid army for the 5th ed rules, finding a nice little 1/1 in Gainesville that I can afford, and fixing up my bike. Maybe, if I manage to put enough money away, picking up a PS3 in the future as a late B-day gift.

Also, Susan called and wished me a happy birthday! Thanks Susan!

Today I made the quote:

"I've just been busier than a Palestine with one leg jumping rope in an Israeli mine field with a tin helmet of a target on his head in a known sniper blind..."

and watched a friend just cringe. He replied "That busy? Jeeze."

Our coder called out sick. My coworker is up to her usual shit-nanagins. I just finished the time sensitive part of the billing, and I'm trying to decide if I want to take a lunch, considering its 2:30, I get off at 5, and my lunch is a (glorious) hour long.

Oh, and did I mention I get to shut the phones off at 4? :)

Mmm lunch...

I’m not going to spoil “Insomnia” but I was stunned by the end of the book. It ended so powerfully, and there are such subtle and incredible ties into his Dark Tower series. I’m surprised I never read that book by King before!

My throat issues and sinus issues are almost all done. No sore throats in the morning, no headaches, no sinus crap to deal with. Thank GOD. There is still a little congestion, but I can deal with this.

Also, my back is slowly recovering. Nothing like the popped out-popped in thing that happened before, but it IS able to bear more weight and I can bend over without the sudden lance of pain into my spine.

Two more days and I’ll be working on moving into Mike’s place. I just hope for all of our sakes, that I make a better live in room mate than his current folks. I don’t want to strain our friendship.

Yesterday I came across a rather disturbing magazine. I was waiting for my sister to pick me up out front of the hospital and there was a copy of “American Cheerleader”. I was so bored I would have read a medication insert if I had one, so I was flipping through the magazine, not really paying much attention. I have to say, its almost Pedophiles Playboy! If a quarter of those girls had been 18, I’d be surprised. Many were teens, no doubt, but still too young. All in cheer skirts and unitards doing splits and kicks and flips and cheers. The whole presentation of the magazine made me think some pervo-pedophile was on the editorial staff. It also made me think that the reader base of that magazine has to be a high percent of perverts who purchase it for the “Full color glossy photos!” advertised on the front. Creepy.

Yesterday, I had a powerful image come to mind. So powerful, that I had to sit down and describe it as best as I could. I’m thinking I need to write it into a story somewhere. I like the mental imagery. You can read it too; it’s just below this paragraph.

Dawn split the northern sky with an almost visible shockwave of light. The colors had drained slowly from the rich-purple black of early morning or dusk and finally given way in a single pulse. Low scattered clouds caught the light and reflected it, refracted it, turning the yellow orange rays of pure sunlight into a watery wildfire. And like a wildfire, it leapt from cloud to cloud and stole through the space in between setting the heavens ablaze.

Thos who know me well might (maybe) be able to guess the idea of what two things bumped together in my brain to form the mental image. The rest can ask, if you really want to know. :p

Oh, and any constructive criticism would be appreciated. I know it is just a tiny ficklet, but it is still nice to have people help me improve my writing.

I had a truly ... disturbing thing happen last night.

I’ll get to that in a moment, though... ( Read more... )

Today, I scored some seriously good deals.

I went down to the book stone to get some cookies to celebrate Friday. (YAY! Friday!) And I happened to check the discount rack. There, in hardback were TWO Stephen King books. A copy of Cell (A novel I have not read yet) and Dark Tower VII (By Grant Publishing?) made their way to my hands with the cookies.

All together, I spent 20$. A HUGE savings considering both books are hardback, and full color with dust jackets! The Dark Tower VII ALONE retails for 45$. The other book was supposed to be 20$ or so as well.

Huge score.

Now I just need to find Dark Tower VI so that I can read that one too. I have read I-V already. It’s a powerful series and I love the “hero”. I can’t wait to see how the series ends, but I also can’t stand skipping the sixth book! ARG! :p

While I am NOT keeping to my decision to write a page a day on my book, I AM spending my lunch time doing art or writing. I started one image that is coming along pretty neat that is just a bit of cheesecake. A nude female feline on the lap of some yet unfinished male character. I also started doing the actual bone structure for the Soai so I could begin to look at drawing them.

Now, I’ve pictured these creatures for literal years. I have been writing this book off and on since 2004/2005. BUT, I never really thought about how they looked, or WHY they looked the way they did. Really digging into the bone structure lead me to do more research on the bones in their tip-hands and how that whole part would work. Its integral to the book, so I damn well better get it right.

This has decided me on two things: One, when the first encounter DOES happen, there will be a reason for the medical/science officer to get a good LONG look at the physiology of the Soai, and I am going to write a side project that is as if the medical/science doctor took the time to write a dissertation on their biology. That way I can satisfy the curisoty of any fans out there who have questions about their biology, I can put all of my absolutely fascinating research into writing, publish another work of short (ish) fiction, and so I can answer any questions I myself might have about the way things might work about them. I have it all in my head, but I want to get it down on paper so that I can find ways to assist in the suspension of disbelief by using science to prove that my characters COULD indeed have evolved.

Its all very exciting, and all too geeky. :P

Your results:
You are Magneto

Magneto 88% Apocalypse 88% Dr. Doom 88% Mr. Freeze 71% Two-Face 71% Dark Phoenix 70% Venom 63% The Joker 61% Juggernaut 59% Lex Luthor 58% Catwoman 56% Poison Ivy 54% Mystique 51% Green Goblin 47% Kingpin 46% Riddler 41%

You fear the persecution of those that are different or underprivileged so much that you are willing to fight and hurt others for your cause.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...


Creepy. I scored as a fusion between Magneto, Apocalypse, and Dr. Droom. And 88%? Thats pretty high. ^_- Makes you wonder when I will become a super villian, The Infamous Kole...

During all of the packing to move I have discovered a number of items lost in the myriad of boxes that I had packed once upon a decade ago and forgotten to ever unpack. I’ve just be been storing them and moving them with me from place to place. A lot of it was junk, old mail that kind of crap.

I did find a few gems though.

A second (I think) Edition D&D Rules Cyclopedia.This is the book, over at Amazon. I have the hard cover. These days the player handbook itself is the heft of the old rules cyclopedia. Unfortunately, my far reaching and over intelligent mother wrote my name into the book and on the side of the pages. The book is mine for all eternity as I do not believe that anyone would want to ever buy an old book like that with someone’s name scribed in it who was not partially responsible for writing the book.

A Boxed AD&D Game set, which included dice, little card stand monsters, a pared down version of the AD&D rules, the board map, plastic figurines, and the DM’s screen. I found inside the box character sheets from when I was playing this with an OLD friend of mine, Shawn Morell. That was my last year in Middle School, so 8th grade. That’s at least ... 1994?

A 1990 copy of # 1 of 5 of the “Torment!” collector Mini-Series of Spiderman Comics. It is either this version, Or this version of the same comic. I'll find out later tonight. It is one of the issues that never received a UPC in the corner, and bears the signature of the artist (Pre-printed, not actually signed). The comic is 18 years old still in its cellophane, mint, and as far as I know, never handled. It was given to me in 6th grade for winning a raffle in class. The teacher told me to take good care of it as it would be worth money some day.

A 1977 (Older than I am!) movie photo poster book (it has LOTS of photos from the movie, some that were obviously edited for appearance) from the first Star Wars ever released. The book I am talking about is the upper left book. Listed here as the "Original Theatrical Programme". There is some age damage, creases at the spine, and the corners are a little roughed up, but it includes photos, and text about the movie. It’s the kind of pre-release advertisement that you can’t find anymore. Its an awesome booklet and I wish it were in better shape. Still, it is in at least Good condition, no water marks, stains, or torn pages or anything.

A whole host of baseball cards from the 80’s and early 90’s. Some of them are in bags with notes of like 1.50$ so I must have priced some of them at one point. I wonder what they are worth now...

There were a few other odds and ends that seemed like they might be valuable. Not quite as much as those items listed above, but more sentimental really. I also found all of my old art books purchased in 1995-1997! And my old sketch diaries with some guest art done in them. Some stuff from Frank Gembeck and Guppy, and one that looks like Fel did it.

Does anyone know anything about finding how much some of this would be worth? I’d love to know.

God DAMN I forgot how good fresh peaches taste!

Last night I wanted so much to talk to someone in person about being fucking HAPPY that I called Susan to come over and hang out for a while. She brought me a few golden apples (My favorite! But you can’t eat too many, to sweet!), an orange or two, a banana and a peach the size of MY fist. And I have BIG hands.

I brought the peach with me for part of my breakfast. I snagged a knife and circumscribed a line around the “But crack” of the peach. I found the pit was split already and discovered that the nut of a peach is kind of bland. I didn’t feel like eating it.

The peach on the other hand is just an orgasm in the mouth. Crisp and juicy without being so firm that it snaps (Like when the peach is just a little under ripe) with the wonderful flavor and the silky sexy soft fuzzy skin along my tongue. I love the texture of peaches.

I don’t remember why I haven’t bought a peach in so long. Hell, I haven’t really had fresh fruit in a LONG time.

*nom nom nom nom* Pardon me while I finish the rest of my peach.

This does make me wonder, however, what does it mean when the pit of a peach is split like that? I could imagine that when the peach is about to go to seed the pit splits as the nut swells (Heh-heh heh-heh, you said its nuts are swelling! Shut up, Bevis.) but the nut was just a small brown almond shape.

All this talk of seeds and nuts (Heh-heh heh-heh! Shut UP Bevis!) reminds me of my first year in High School, when my earth-science teacher did a our unit on fruit. He was all about how the REASON things fruit is so that an animal will come along, eat the fruit, poop the seed out, and give it a great new place to start over with fresh fertilizer. He asked if we could come up with any other reason why fruits might bear fruit.

I mentioned that the real reason fruits fruit is that the rotting fruit provides sugars and other nutrients for the developing seed and that animals eating fruit is NOT why fruits fruit. He called me stupid to my face. I called him stupid back. I wound up with detention.

As an adult, I know that I was indeed correct. His theory of animal poop being the reason doesn’t hold up as the primary reason fruits fruit. Some fruits, yes, require the transportation and defecation to persist. Certainly an animal carrying a fruit off to its den to eat provides the species with a wider seeding pattern and a greater chance of survival and propagation. However, its ridiculous to think that the ONLY reason a fruit puts that much time, energy, and nutrients into its meat is for something to eat it and divest the budding seed of that much stored nutrition.

Edit: Holy crap. I had to add a new Tag. I called it just Joy :)

Did I ever mention how much I love freecycle? (www.freecycle.org) Tonight a nice lady came by and picked up all the little bits that Sarin and his harem left behind. They picked up the chalkboard, the dry erase/cork board, and the dry erase calendar, along with a viewing ball on a faux stone pedistal and the airmatress that Jay and Brittany were using for forever.

I'm still trying to get rid of the couch and the mirror. Bleh, not so popular it seems. The other items had a whopping 20 emails within an hour to pick them up! Nice!

I've also gotten a few things from freecycle over the years. I love the site. You just have to have an email filter robust enough to keep up with about 300 emails a DAY. Dead serious. Go check the site out, read about it, and join the community!

I finally have my own closure on a subject that is going into my friends only filter. You'll have to log in for that post.

Today I have felt... LIBERATED.

Part of that has to do with the locked post, and part of that has to do with acceptance.

I have decided to accept and close a large chapter of my life. I can't FIX the past, its not BROKEN and I have a fucking future if I will get off my goddamn ass and work towards it.

So, you will probably see me less on online games, and more with headphones on, typing away. I am making a personal goal to get at least two pages a day. I want to get to the end of the first book in the series I have mapped out in my head. This is kind of the prequel to the whole thing, so I'm excited to see it taking DECENT shape.

I just feel so... free today. Its like something clicked. Ashley couldn't do a thing to piss me off. Work didn't bother me too much. The bus ride home was quick, I hardly noticed the time. I felt ... confident. Assured.

This is going to work. I feel it.

It is time, for a serious attitude adjustment, and a change of direction!

Part of my plan is that I WILL get back to work on my book. I have, as Mc Lars states, “…Get out a pen and kill your writers block!”. Totally execution style. I slapped out two pages today at work on my lunch break. I’m going to have to go back and re-edit it a little bit, it sounds to expository. But, two fucking pages. That’s more progress in an HOUR than I made sometimes in a day.

I’m up to 116 pages. At 8.5” x 11” single spaced.

I am finally at the point where I am maintaining a weight instead of dropping (dammit) and my waist line has not really changed. I am steady about 280 now.

There is other news, but it will be up later, after 7, when things settle down again tonight. It will be under a certain friends only post.

I really do miss moonwolf.

I miss my friend LL. I haven’t seen her or talked to her in years now. I never manage to catch her online. She used to always make time for me if I needed to talk to her or asked to come visit. Hell, she on several occasions, drove the two hours down to G’ville, picked me up, and took me to O’town! (That’s TWO HOURS EACH WAY).

I miss having people I could go hang out with and do things with like I used to with LL. All of my really close friends have grown up and moved on. I have a lot of acquaintances and a few good friends, but I sincerely lack for the really close friends. And there is a standing vacancy for “Best Friend”.

There is a second entry for those of you logged in today. (And on my friends list)

It’s rather grumbly, so you’re not missing much.

Wanted: a really close friend, possibly even a “Best Friend” with whom I can speak freely, listen freely, and can count on to call at 3:00 am in the morning when I can’t sleep. Someone intelligent, creative, witty, and moderately spontaneous. Must be able to tell me I am full of shit if needed and be available for random trips with no destination in mind from time to time. Someone who returns calls if they are busy and who occasionally needs my help too.
Benefits: Reciprocation. A strong back and shoulders for the occasional heavy lifting attached to a handy guy with a quick and innovative mind who is good at problem solving.
Needed from-to: Now until ?
Position expires: Never.

So I have hit upon a solution, temporary at best, but it is the most equitable solution that I had available to me.

Regular readers of this LJ will recall that I had TWO options. Hell or High Water.

I could go home and live with my mother, paying her 500$ a month for “room and board” and trying not to slip deeply into old habits or start fighting with her all the time…

OR

I could beg, borrow and steal the 785$ that I still needed to move in over at the place managed by Marvene and really struggle to make it all work.

I was really deliberating, trying to find the best possible solution. When a third option became available to me. A friend from the Thieves Guilde offered to let me stay with him and his wife for a few months, paying only a split of the utilities.

This is going to really help me out!

I'm going to give them about 500$ for the three months I will be staying with them. That will allow me to put away about six or seven paychecks as a pure net gain. I can't tell you how huge that is to help me get back on my feet financially. It will allow me to put the money away to move into a place and pay first and last and still have money left over for bills.

The only hangup is the time from the end of this lease until the time when my friends current squatters move out, which should be the 10th of August. I had asked Allo if I could stay with Her and Ranth, but they are going to have other company for part of that time and my mom and sister insisted that I spend the time with them.

Can you say, relief? I have been so stressed out over the whole money + move situation I wanted to shoot someone.

Contributing to that annoyance is my co-worker Ashley. She had her review today. I did everything in my power (Which is considerable!) to make sure she had a shitty review. I had an hour long meeting with my supervisor and discussed all of the problems and things Ashley is doing badly or intentionally wrong.

It might not matter soon. I have a job interview Friday.

I applied for a Webmaster position open at the Reitz Union. Everyone please pray that the interview goes well. The pay increase alone is worth the hassle, I'd go from 10.89$ to 15.00$ +/-. Thats a four dollar raise. I'd do a little what-what in the but for that kind of raise! Not to mention that its what I want to go back to school for! UF has one of its benefits where you get to earn class hours, too. So... if this works out, it would be the absolute BEST of all worlds!

....

I'm having a wierd night, though, all things considered. I lost a tooth.

I have had a baby tooth that I never lost. It always bothered me, and in the last few years had been migrating down towards my tongue. Well tonight, while eating a sandwich, I felt like I had been punched in the jaw. I was quite annoyed to say the least. I bit into the crust of the sandwich and *WHAM!* Ow motherfuckerthatfuckinghurt! I poke at the tooth experimentally and I hear this sucking tearing sound and there is a momentary pulling sensation and a little pop. The tooth didn't come out right then, NO, the center root still was not ready to go. Over the next hour I played with it until it finally gave up, and fell down onto my tongue. Scared the shit out of me because I had got used to playing with it, and I was playing a FPS. It bled like you have no idea. I looked like Sweeny Todd would if he replaced all his teeth with his friends and started biting people.

The tooth... well. I found out why I always had halitosis. The whole thing was rotten. The base is all crumbly and jagged where the enamel was slowly being eaten away. There were two spots so soft that with a little prodding of a pin, turned into holes. The Mercury Almagam filling shows signs of definate wear. There is one spot where the enamel and the filling are both worn down from where my teeth met. The spot left behind is raw and angry looking. I'm very glad it came out!

The damn thing stinks. I dropped it into a cup of alcohol and daubbed a little everclear (151 proof!) over the socket to stop the bleeding and try and kill anything that might have been left behind from under the tooth.

I'm damn glad the tooth is out, but I'm pretty sure the last time a dentist looked at the spot there was no adult tooth there. God dammit. Now I have a gaping obvious gap in my teeth. Its enough to make me want to cry. I don't feel anything there now except the jaw bone, which means that the disfigurement is permenant until I can afford a bridge. *SIGH*. I have no idea how it will affect my speach, I haven't been talking much either.

Dammit all to hell.

Do you know what I have found out? You will never guess. Really.

I found out that it is perfectly legal for a school to state that you still owe them money even if you withdrew from courses.

It is legal for that school to have advised you to remain in classes beyond the withdrawal date for courses while their financial councilors try and help you find the financial backing to complete the next semester.

It is perfectly legal, because they ADVISED you. You did not have to take their advice.

It is then perfectly legal for them to charge you, plus interest, on the “loan” they so graciously extended you, even though you withdrew from classes. Which means that it is legal for you to have owed in the neighborhood of two thousand dollars to NOW owe in the neighborhood of three thousand dollars.

With all that being legal, they are perfectly within their rights to refuse to release an official transcript.

Without releasing an official transcript to another school for them to accredit you the courses you took at another school, your financial aid can not be released to the school of your choice.

Which boils down to what I learned today.

Westwood says I owe them three thousand dollars. Because they say I owe them three thousand dollars, they will not send an official transcript to Santa Fe. Because they will not send an official transcript to Santa Fe, Santa Fe can not get my FAFSA approved financial aide to be disbursed to them instead of Westwood.

This means that I can not afford to go back to school until I pay Westwood off in full. Because I listened to their advisors and didn’t withdraw while working with the other lending agencies to try and get my second semester paid for.

What the fuck kind of school lets you attend without paying for classes anyway? What the hell kind of backwards place calls a student in the start of the semester and says “Well, your financial aid isn’t going to cover your current semester. You owe us $$, but we suggest you don’t withdraw just yet, we’ll help you find the money.”

A dirty, underhanded school, that’s who.
( Read more... )

First and foremost, let me be very clear. I know TWO Megans. The Megan that I dated and have been grumpy about over the last few weeks is Megan Warner. (Megs). The other Megan I know is Megan L. Apparently someone read my LJ over someone else’s shoulder and confused Megs with Megan L, and hilarity ensued. Apparently, people added one plus apples and got chicken-pot-pie.

I’d like to profusely apologize to Megan L, who was quite flustered last night during Trivial Pursuit trying to figure out how the rumor got started that she was dating Chris C.
 
Weeee, Drama! I still find it funny that my journal of all things started the rumor. Ah well. Again, I’m sorry for the confusion, Megan L.

In other news... ( You're going to what?! )

Slowly, baby steps.

My back is doing better. I have on and off days now. I spent Wednesday at home because my back hurt so much I wasn’t able to think very well.

I spent some time with A&R last night. That was nice to be able to sit down with good friends and just relax. I'll have to stop over with them more often.

Financially I’m doing a little better and worse than I thought.

I called up Cox, Tuesday while at work and wanted to ask WHY my bill was 140$ when I paid 80$ on a 150$ bill. The person that I spoke with took about 30 minutes to answer, but I finally found out that they were trying to charge me twice for the line installation! I got THAT cleared up and asked about what ever happened to the credit that was supposed to have been put on my account.

Let me sum up the story of how badly Cox fucked this up. ( Cox fucked up Thiiiiiiiis much... )

By the way, if anyone reading my LJ wants my new phone number, its 407-610-1088. If you are Gainesville Local and don’t want to pay the long distance (?I’m not sure if you would be charged long distance fees to call the number, so..?) just give me a call so that it shows up in my Call ID log, and I’ll call you back. :)

( Money and New house problems, possible solutions )

Sounds like a lot is looking up, eh? Makes it taste all the more bitter and distasteful that I am so depressed.

Turns out Megan, who “wasn’t looking for a relationship right now, due to her grandfather dying and having job issues,” is dating someone else. Big surprise, right? When she told me she just told me “I might have a date tonight” after I asked her what she was doing later (Thinking we could get together for bowling or something, I was bored) and joking I asked if he was Handsome and something else, which is when she let me know it is someone she has known for a year and she wants to get to know him more on a personal level.

…

Okay, check please? I’m done with trying to find “love”. I’ll settle for “Fucking”, “Sex”, “Yiffing”, “Friends with Benefits”, “The occasional lay”, “Pitty fucking”, and or “Foolin’ around” at this point. And I’m not going to expend a shit-ton of energy for it either. I keep investing into relationships to have them turn fair-weather or foul, or have the person break my heart. So, anyone interested in sexual activity is welcome. Anyone interested in more or love or other deeper emotions is going to have to prove they are worth it.

Of course, I say this now, and a few weeks from now maybe a few months I’m going to be head over heels or re-considering this. God I’m such a sap.

I’m just so empty of late. Tired and exhausted. I’m so burned out at work I don’t care about people anymore. I mean, you can feed me a sob story and I’ll just keep on business as usual. I have found out that if the person is polite, approachable, and actually LISTENS and tries to help me help them, I’m all ready to go that extra 10%, but everyone else… fuck ‘em.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not rude, just dead. Well, not “dead” but I don’t rise to the challenge anymore. There isn’t one. I’m SO tired of the endless paper hustle. Every time I start to see desk under the stacks of papers, the wood on my desk doubles in depth.

Okay guys, I have a favor to ask.

Pray for me.

I got to work fine, nothing wrong. Felt like a normal day, and while I had overslept, I worked a half hour extra yesterday so that I didn't have to worry about it.

Well, I've been at work here 90 minutes. Of that 90 minutes, 60 of them have been Agony.

I have no fucking CLUE what I have done to my back, but I have to sit in this hunched position leaning to the right. Every time I try to sit upright its like I just got kicked in the back. With steel toed boots, cleats, and a knife tip. I can describe the pain as starting first at a dull ache if I start to shift, which turns into exponentially more painful almost pinpoint pain about one or two vertebre above my pelvis. I can't stand. Trying to stand lances pain into my lower back and takes my breath away. Its immediate and sudden pain that entirely vanishes when I move back into my hunched position.

I'm this close to crying. I am litterally stuck in my chair. I've taken a lot of alleve and I am icing my back right now, but its not helping. I can only pray this is something like a pulled muscle or a jarred nerve.

I REALLY want to play a lead this year at faire. Mike got the proposal and he and I have been talking about the whole thing. I REALLY want to play Arthur this year. But if this thing with my back...

I can't think about that. My back hurts. -_-

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Edit: Four alleve and 45 minutes of icing my back later, I have come to the conclusion that this is NOT something that is going to wear off shortly. I am going to ask my boss to go home at 12:00. Then I'm going to try and figure out how to get home when I can't stand, get to my bathroom, and boil my ass in water as hot as I can make it to see if this is a muscle pain.

Can't see how it is. never had a muscle pain that could litteraly make me stop breathing, even when I tore my shoulder up. This had better be fucking temporary...